You, me, 2 fit boys.

I'm happy that it's all over.

Last night it was settled, I said that it was all lies.

Well, slight twisting of the truth but it might as well have been lies.

However, now that I have an s.b I should be happy?

I am happy, but when I don't talk to him it makes me think about everything.

Like now for instance, and when he doesn't reply to texts.

It's baffling, like two completely different people.

Ah well, for now I am writing up an article about Alexander McQueen.

Very fun.

Oh yes.

I don't know why I bother being annoyed about stuff.

Everything happens for a reason.

If you don't care, then you don't get hurt.

I'm happy, happyyyyy :):)

LOL @ the post below.

I've come to realise that I'm not actually that bothered at all.

In fact, now that I know where I stand - it's made me much happier.

I can finally talk to a certain person without getting grief off of that twat. ;)

Ohh he's not a twat, and also not his fault that he doesn't like me.

But like I said in the beginning - I'm cool with what happens, and now I'm able to get over it and move on to someone else.

However, I don't think I'll be liking anyone else for a while.

Actually, fuck that - I'll be on someone new by this time tomorrow.

DISTRACTIONS ARE THE ONE.

Well, well well.

Finally I get a straight fucking answer.

I think you can guess that it wasn't the good option.

No, yet again I've been led to think otherwise.

That's it, I give up with men.

What is going on?

I don't want to feel like this any more.

I'm constantly sitting here thinking about it, going over in my head everything that may have been perceived as a signal.

The more I think about it, the more I realise that I'm treated no differently to anyone else.

Just friends.

I hate that phrase so much.

I'm scared that I'm falling.

The duck is on a mission.

I am currently wondering how I'm going to raise £500 spending money for Malia by July - with no job. Also another £100 for my passport. Money is such an issue it's actually ridiculous. Not to mention that I need to buy summer clothes too. Grrr. And a suitcase. :|

I hope he's there on Saturday. I wonder if it's going to be like this forever, just not talking about how we feel. It gets to the point where you want to give up - but I'm not giving up just yet.

I can't see anything happening, but there's always hope.

Confused.com

So yes, it didn't happen.

I'm happy it didn't, it was for the best.

I think I'm falling for him. I only realised when I was on the phone the other day to which I mentioned something along the lines of "if I could be with him then I'd never talk to (the guy i'm in love with) again."

That must've proved something. I wouldn't just drop him for anyone.

Weirdly enough, this one is worth it.

Oh, how splendid.

Again, boredom arises - so here comes another pointless blog about my wonderful life.

Currently I am sitting here pondering whether to be happy that this thing won't happen - or quite upset. I guess in the long run it will be much better for my mind.

However, I seem to have a stalker right about now. It started with trying to make someone jealous - but it seems to have backfired on me. What do I do?!

I feel kinda numb. I'm not quite sure why. I think I'm in the state of thinking about things, then knowing that I should be doing coursework and feeling guilty that I'm not doing it...

I want to be loved by you, just you and nobody else.

I think I'm going to go and listen to some music.

Chao.

Frustration and immense curiosity.

It will definitely not happen.

I should refrain from getting my hopes up to something that will not happen.

It's like a needle in a haystack; you have a minimal chance of finding it.

This will never be found.
It's just motionless trekking through the mind, taking you to different thought dimensions and strange feelings of hurt and anger.

I must stop letting my hopes get high.

FALSE HOPE.

Memoirs of an english girl.

- Love is a many splendid thing.

- Love is just a game.

- I can't survive, without your sweet love.

- You think that people would've had enough of silly love songs.

- Some people wanna fill the world with silly love songs.

- Love lifts us up where we belong.

- Love makes us act like we are fools.

- We throw our lives away for one happy day.

- We should be lovers.

- Nothing will keep us together.

I will always love you.

Temporary fixes are not the way forward.

Ever tried to take your mind off something by pretending to be interested in something else?

I always tend to do this. Then I'll look back in a couple of weeks/months time and realise that I'm actually a very silly person.

If things follow through this weekend, I think I could either be:

1. The happiest girl alive.

2. A depressed slug.

This is the time where I don't know whether to go with my heart or my head.

In the long run, my head will keep me sane, but my heart will just drag me further into this.

I can see it now.

Although, it probably won't even happen. I'll end up being at home and wondering 'what if'.

I am such a loser.

The only explanation.

Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.

Reflection.

Have you ever analysed someone's appearance for so long that they start to look unrecognisable? It's rather strange to say the least.

Or just looked in the mirror at your reflection and didn't even recognise yourself?

It's funny how the world works.

To bring the tone down a little - doesn't it just annoy you when you go to the effort of buying stuff and wanting to make something work, and then the person lets you down? It's a proper kick in the teeth, that is. Worst thing is, he doesn't even know that I bought him anything. Not that he would know now, considering I tore it into little pieces and threw it in the bin. When I'm angry, I'm angry and the fact that there was no remorse or apologies, made me even more angry. ALSO that it got turned back around on me to make out like it was MY fault!

I am not doing it anymore. Of course I'll sit here pretending that everything's cool, when it's not. But why bother making any effort when you get fuck all back out of it?