I'm over it.

Yeah. So things didn't really go to plan.
And I think now would be the right time to just give up, because I'm never gonna get anywhere.
He doesn't even know. That's the worst thing. And I make all the effort.
So now, this is the last time I speak of him; or speak to him. When he begins to make the effort with me, then I will consider things.
But for now, I'm concentrating on other things. I don't want to but I have to.
Facebook and MSN doesn't help. It's a constant bloody reminder that they're getting on with their lives without you in it. It's frustrating.

So yes. 20/12/2009 you can get out of my life.

Still thinking.

I CAN'T STOP.
It's harder than I thought it'd be.
Thoughts just keep going round and round in my head.
Just everything. It sucks.
I want to know where I stand, but I haven't got the balls to ask because I know what the answer will be.

Fantastic.

Now I'm even more confused than I was.
Today...I was with....him.....and it was great.

BUT, i'm sick of it just being like this. i want to be WITH him.
The snow was great..it finally snowed in harrow for once..
Just got over tonsillitus, that was a bitch and a half. wow.

AAAAAAAAH I LOVE HIM :(:(:(:( love hurts so much.

Ouch

Nobody understands quite how I feel right now.

After last night, and the other night...things are just seeming to get worse.

I can't sleep, and I constantly feel sick.

Last night was a bloody mess. 4 glasses of wine and I'm stumbling all over the place, forgetting who I am and throwing my guts up.

I'm broken. And nobody can fix me. Not even him.

Clearly

All men are just complete wastes of space.

I dislike the fact that I am constantly getting flirted with by foreigners; who have no relevance to my life WHATSOEVER.

On another note. I want to knock some sense into Him. Let's just say, I'm not going to post his name all over this, but after many years of being friends and always wanting something more..it's just getting too annoying now.

He is a player. But never a player to me? We have only hugged, understandably; we are merely friends. I want him to realise that I'm actually falling in love with him. Pathetic or what? Oh well, that's life. I'll move on. But, I don't want to move on without him....

I really just want to be like "Hey, just thought I'd let you know I'm completely in love with you and have been for quite a while." Am I going to do that. No.

This is the only place I can half get my feelings across, mainly because not many people have this thing. Yet. I'll be damned when he does. Not that he'll read this, of course.

Anyway, enough of my babbling. I hope nobody reads this.. I'm not a soppy person..only when it comes to Him.... :(

Fresh Start

So, since I last posted one of these; a lot of things have changed.

Things are finally back on track with my group. Finally.

And this is a good thing, I think.

MALIA '10!!

With the girlies<3

Jade Rowlands

Caragh Southern

Zara Styles

Jasmine Doyle

Gabi Giacopazzi

Cassie Campbell

Hannah Patterson

Lizzy O Connell

It's going to be amazing. AND I WILL FINALLY BE 18 by this time!!!

Me and Catherine have so long to wait...5th June! :(

So, as far as it goes, it is now 24 days until Christmas :D

I never usually get excited about these things, but boyyy I have so many things to look forward to.

Everything is changing for the better, and I'm not going to fuck things up this time.

I like birds.

I have so much work to do.

I really cannot be bothered.

GRR. And i'd also like some money please. I'm skint. Absolutely skint.

I want to rape Robert Pattinson. I'm not the first girl to say that, obviously..but nevertheless he'd still get it.

I'm babbling on.. I don't have much to say.

There is one person on my mind right now. I want him to to text me. I WANT TO TALK TO HIM GODAMMIT.

I'm going to see New Moon again on Monday, and then again on Wednesday. eeeeeeeeee :D

I'm not obsessed, I've just been waiting a year for this.

ROBEEEEEEEERRRRRRRTTTT<3

I've just realised, I'm slowly becoming a serial blogger. Bad times.

My little rat.

Jade Kimberley Sylvia Rowlands.

What can i possibly say about this girl that she doesn't already know?
She's been my best friend since..1996?
Too long, too long.
We've shared many a memory.

You are my zingerbug.com/jeepers creepers/sparkymark:P:P:P
I am irrevocably in love with this girl - and one day we plan to get married.

SOMALIA '10
- Gammy McGammerson & Jabba O' Jabbery take flight! <3

I don't even know what I can say about her to sum her up.
She's a 5ft troll with long pikey hair and for such a short person, she makes a HELL of a lot of noise.

She screams, shouts, laughs like a hyena - and i love it. I would have her no other way.
Although, there was this one time that I threw a memory card at her head..it wasn't so pleasant.

At this precise moment in time she is lying next to me, but alas, she cannot see what I am writing. She thinks it's bad - but it's not....

She told me to get off her laptop. So I am.
JADE THIS WILL BE CONTINUED I AM NOT FINISHED WITH YOU YET!!!!!

Muchos love. <33333

Sometimes.

- Sometimes I wish that people would listen to my problems - instead of the world constantly revolving around them.
- Sometimes I wish that life could be easier, but we don't all get what we wish for eh?
- Sometimes I wish that he would stop being such a self-obsessed loser and see that I actually do like him.
- Sometimes I wish that I would stop wishing, and just deal with life as it is - but that is the hard part.
- Sometimes I wish that I wouldn't keep taking my family for granted.
-Sometimes I wish that I could regret things. But everything happens for a reason, right?
- Sometimes I wish that everything could go back to normal with my group.
- Sometimes I wish that that night never happened.
- Sometimes I wish that I could stop hurting people.


I guess that I wish for a lot of things. Things that will probably never happen; mistakes I've made and can't undo. This past year has been a complete mess. Although, in a way - it's shown me who my true friends are. See, I hate the term "true friends" because a friend who you can trust and who is there for you in your time of need is a "true friend" - but it makes me think; are they only there because they have to and because they have nowhere else to be?

Zazazaza.

I am taking this time to write about Zara Styles.
This girl is hilarious. No really, she's amazing.
She's the only person I can go to the cinema with to see ANY film and come out wetting myself and crying.
Shes also the only person who would try to run a cab with me. Which ends in us giving them our mobile phone.
Oh, and also the only person who fantasizes over CoCo Pops the way that I do.

If I was a man, I'd marry this girl. We'd crack so joke. But...we'd need ivf to have children.
Fuck it..we'll just do what that spastic bitch Madonna did and adopt a load of foreigners.

We love the Twilight Saga. No, love isn't a good word. We're obsessed with it. We're going to see the first showing of New Moon tonight :D

But..there is only enough love for one man in our lives - David Tunnacliffe..you are the One.

NAAAAAAAAAAAAH MANNNNNNN

I think I secretly scare Zazoo, but she would never tell me..because I'd chew her to death with my "abnormally small teeth".

IceIceBabyyy<3
AH PUSH IT...PUSH IT REAAAAAAL GOOD..congratulations it's a boy.

NUFF LUFF FOR YEW BWABIE GYALDEM.

P.S Paige Clark is getting beats tonight.


P.P.S I want to see my cat.

Men.

Why is it that all boys/men seem to be in their own bubble? I haven't had a proper boyfriend in over a year now - which doesn't bother me, purely because all of the boys I know are either:

a) Completely up themselves.

b) Utter wankers.

c) Have a girlfriend and still try it on.

d) Are off limits.

You can't win really. It's a lose-lose situation. Oh well, I'm 17 and I should be enjoying my life, not moping around wishing that someone would come along. Someone will come along when I least expect it... I hope.

HEL-LOOOOO open your eyes you selfish twats and realise that the world doesn't revolve around you - and in the end what goes around comes around. KARMA WILL GET YOU.

Why would I rather text or check my notifications on Facewank?

I'm new to this so don't judge me. Curtis COOMBEZ is the One; and also the guy who made me make this blog tingaling.

RAWRRRRR you can change the font this is sick. Yes, I'm very bored..and this seems more entertaining that sitting and talking to people on FB chat.

I should have known this wasn't real, and fought it off, and fought to feel. What matters most - everything, that you feel whilst listening, to every word that I sing.<3