I'm over it.

Yeah. So things didn't really go to plan.
And I think now would be the right time to just give up, because I'm never gonna get anywhere.
He doesn't even know. That's the worst thing. And I make all the effort.
So now, this is the last time I speak of him; or speak to him. When he begins to make the effort with me, then I will consider things.
But for now, I'm concentrating on other things. I don't want to but I have to.
Facebook and MSN doesn't help. It's a constant bloody reminder that they're getting on with their lives without you in it. It's frustrating.

So yes. 20/12/2009 you can get out of my life.

Still thinking.

I CAN'T STOP.
It's harder than I thought it'd be.
Thoughts just keep going round and round in my head.
Just everything. It sucks.
I want to know where I stand, but I haven't got the balls to ask because I know what the answer will be.

Fantastic.

Now I'm even more confused than I was.
Today...I was with....him.....and it was great.

BUT, i'm sick of it just being like this. i want to be WITH him.
The snow was great..it finally snowed in harrow for once..
Just got over tonsillitus, that was a bitch and a half. wow.

AAAAAAAAH I LOVE HIM :(:(:(:( love hurts so much.

Ouch

Nobody understands quite how I feel right now.

After last night, and the other night...things are just seeming to get worse.

I can't sleep, and I constantly feel sick.

Last night was a bloody mess. 4 glasses of wine and I'm stumbling all over the place, forgetting who I am and throwing my guts up.

I'm broken. And nobody can fix me. Not even him.

Clearly

All men are just complete wastes of space.

I dislike the fact that I am constantly getting flirted with by foreigners; who have no relevance to my life WHATSOEVER.

On another note. I want to knock some sense into Him. Let's just say, I'm not going to post his name all over this, but after many years of being friends and always wanting something more..it's just getting too annoying now.

He is a player. But never a player to me? We have only hugged, understandably; we are merely friends. I want him to realise that I'm actually falling in love with him. Pathetic or what? Oh well, that's life. I'll move on. But, I don't want to move on without him....

I really just want to be like "Hey, just thought I'd let you know I'm completely in love with you and have been for quite a while." Am I going to do that. No.

This is the only place I can half get my feelings across, mainly because not many people have this thing. Yet. I'll be damned when he does. Not that he'll read this, of course.

Anyway, enough of my babbling. I hope nobody reads this.. I'm not a soppy person..only when it comes to Him.... :(

Fresh Start

So, since I last posted one of these; a lot of things have changed.

Things are finally back on track with my group. Finally.

And this is a good thing, I think.

MALIA '10!!

With the girlies<3

Jade Rowlands

Caragh Southern

Zara Styles

Jasmine Doyle

Gabi Giacopazzi

Cassie Campbell

Hannah Patterson

Lizzy O Connell

It's going to be amazing. AND I WILL FINALLY BE 18 by this time!!!

Me and Catherine have so long to wait...5th June! :(

So, as far as it goes, it is now 24 days until Christmas :D

I never usually get excited about these things, but boyyy I have so many things to look forward to.

Everything is changing for the better, and I'm not going to fuck things up this time.