I am always right, even when I'm wrong, I'm right.

It just goes to show that everything is a lie. Trust should be handled with care, because it can be torn apart in a few minutes. In the end, the nicest of people can turn out to be the worst ones; the ones who will hurt you the most. If I had a heart, which I highly doubt I do, I'd say that it hurts right now. Not physically, because my heart hurting would probably mean that I was having a heart attack of some sort. Anyway, back to the point of my little rant - you cannot trust a word that anyone says any more. At some point in your life you will realise that the only person you should trust is yourself, because nobody makes it out alive anyway.

I must say, I thoroughly enjoy being walked all over, again, not literally - because that would hurt just a tad; but you get my drift. I guess that someone literally walking all over me would hurt just as much as the them doing it metaphorically.

At this precise moment in time I am procrastinating what to do. Should I leave it, or should I keep on pushing it to see what happens? I dislike the fact that I seem to be the one making most of the effort lately, it should be like that on both sides. Then again, nothing turns out quite the way we thought it would. Music seems to be my vice. When I'm happy I'll play some dance tunes, and continue being happy. When I'm sad I'll listen to Damien Rice, Secondhand Serenade etc. It goes to show that music can actually save lives. If I didn't have it to fall back on, I'd probably be slitting my wrists right now. I lie, I lie - I'll leave the emo stuff for another time.

I seem to be babbling on a bit, but I have nothing better to do right now. Possibly some work, but allow that for now. Another thing I must talk about is Facebook. It seems that everyone just stalks each other, including myself. I always tend to end up on some random person's profile - and have absolutely no idea as to how I got there. It's sort of bad in a way - I could know someone's whole life story just by looking deeply at their profile; and they would have no clue who I am. It's strange. Oh so strange.

To finish up, I have a dutty cough.

Great.

Why is it, that every guy I start to like - fucks me over?

It's like a have a permanent sign across my head saying "MUG".

I don't know how to feel anymore, is this how giving up feels?

What have I done so wrong that nobody can love me?

Yes. I have consumed a lot of alcohol tonight - that is why I am talking absolute shite - but still. don't understand how mens minds work. I am seriously confused and upset right now.

Teardrop.

I always do it.

I say I won't, but I do.

Now I feel like a complete and utter idiot.

I wish I'd just kept my mouth shut.

Would've made everything a hell of a lot easier.

I said it didn't bother me...

It does bother me.

Now it's bothered me because I just made a total arse out of myself.

I got nothing back from it.

Not even a reply.

Oh dear. Seems my new theory didn't go to plan.

I'll just go back to the moping and being upset over stupid things.

Yeah. Cool.

L-o-v-e is just another word I've never learnt to pronounce.

And so it is, just, like, you said it would be.

Life goes easy on me... most, of the time.

And so it is, the shorter story - no love, no glory; no hero in her sky.

I can't take my eyes off'a you.

I can't take my eyes off'a you.

I can't take my eyes off'a you.

I can't take my eyes off'a you.

I can't take my eyes off'a you.

I can't take my eyes..

Quite content, which is abnormal for me.

I feel relaxed for once. I'm not completely sure why; but this is possibly the first time that I'm NOT playing "the game". It feels so much better not having to be annoyed all the time - being laid back is possibly a great way to be.

It makes me smile - something that hasn't properly happened for a while. I'm optimistic about this. I'm never optimistic!

I somehow think that deep down, I am growing up.

I don't think about things as much as I used to. Usually I'd read into stuff like "ahhhhhhh I shouldn't have said that - why isn't he replying - he doesn't like me!"

Now I genuinely do not care. I'm allowing fate come to me.

Whatever happens, happens; and I can deal with that.

I felt the need to write something pointless.

Things can change in the space of a few days, a day, an hour, even a few minutes.

People say they'll be here forever, but what they don't realise is that they can't see into the future.

The future is a dark place.

What I don't understand is how people are like "I love you forever, I will never stop loving you".

How exactly do you know that you'll still love that individual in the space of a few months or years?

You don't.

I hate the way people throw the phrase "I love you" around.

I save it until I actually mean it.

Then again, some people have a different perspective of love and it's meaning.

I wish life was simple; but that is too much to ask.

Things are never simple, ever.

Heartbroken isn't even the fucking word.

Wow.

I'm speechless.

What the actual fuck.

It just goes to show that words and actions mean nothing.

They actually mean nothing.

People change their minds all the time, and I guess this is now the time that I have to move on for good.

Fucking hell.

I don't know what to say.

There is no relevant title for this one.

All I know is that, you're so nice.

You're the nicest thing I've seen.

I wish that we could give it a go, see if we could be something.

I wish I was your favourite girl.

I wish you thought I was the reason you were in the world.

I wish my smile was your favourite kind of smile.

I wish the way that I dressed was your favourite kind of style.

I wish you couldn't figure me out, but you'd always wanna know what I was about.

I wish you'd hold my hand when I was upset.

I wish you'd never forget the look on my face when we first met.

I wish you had a favourite beauty spot that you loved secretly 'cos it was on a hidden bit that nobody else could see.

Basically, I wish that you loved me.

I wish that you needed me.

I wish that you knew that when I said 2 sugars actually I meant 3.

I wish that without me your heart would break.

Yeah I wish that without me you'd be spending the rest of your nights awake.

I wish that without me, you couldn't eat.

I wish I was the last thing on your mind before you went to sleep.

Look, all I know is that, you're the nicest thing I've ever seen - and i wish we could see if we could be something.

Yeah, I wish we could see if we could be something.

You're fit but my gosh don't you know it.

I wish it didn't make me so happy. But it does.

Pictures can form memories, of the past and the present.

Good memories and bad ones.

One day it'll happen.
Not any time soon. But one day.

Well, that was a first in a lifetime kinda thang.

I can actually say I've stood up for myself when it comes to a guy now.

Happy days.

Although, it now looks as if I've got the answer I wanted.

And as always, that answer was no.

Even though those words weren't exactly said, I know that is what they meant.

But whatever, I give up on trying anymore.

I'm no longer looking. It can come to me when it wants to make me happy.

That way I don't have to be constantly moaning, all the time using stupid distractions that will never get me anywhere apart from sitting in a pool of tears.

Not literally btw. I don't sit there crying over pathetic wastes of space.

I just deal with it.

I've learnt to deal with the shit in my life.

People need to understand that I don't fucking wait forever.

I'm here for now, and now is all it takes to change everything.

Damn it.

I wish I could control my feelings.

The pointless, but heartbreaking feelings.

See, I can start thinking about or liking someone after a short period of time.

Distractions. They're all distractions.

I don't want distractions anymore.

I want someone who will be there always. Always.

Too many people that don't understand.

Mumblings of random unnecessary rubbish.

I haven't blogged on here for a while now.

A couple of things and people have been and gone over the past few weeks but that hasn't really affected me too badly.

Now I'm starting to find out who my true friends really are.

Some situations make you think "is this my fault? am I over-reacting? should I leave it?" - and the current situation is all of them 3 put together.

In a way I want to go back and change the past. I really do - just so I could be at this point in my life now and see if things would be different or not.

But this is a true friend test. I want to see what she does. IF she does anything.

To be fair, I stopped trusting people a long time ago.

The only person you can really trust is yourself.