Well, that was a first in a lifetime kinda thang.

I can actually say I've stood up for myself when it comes to a guy now.

Happy days.

Although, it now looks as if I've got the answer I wanted.

And as always, that answer was no.

Even though those words weren't exactly said, I know that is what they meant.

But whatever, I give up on trying anymore.

I'm no longer looking. It can come to me when it wants to make me happy.

That way I don't have to be constantly moaning, all the time using stupid distractions that will never get me anywhere apart from sitting in a pool of tears.

Not literally btw. I don't sit there crying over pathetic wastes of space.

I just deal with it.

I've learnt to deal with the shit in my life.

People need to understand that I don't fucking wait forever.

I'm here for now, and now is all it takes to change everything.